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I know I have such a big heart and it is a blessing and a curse. But I been through so much shit in my life and I still try to love with everything I got in me truly does mean something. I will not let my pain destroy the way I love and how passionate I am about people or things I love. It’s just not happening.

When I love, I love HARDDDD. Like it scares me how deeply invested I am and attached. It never truly went away & im dealing with it. I love hard in friendships, relationships, family. I think about people dying everyday and there literally is no point to hold grudge against someone even if they do something wrong u don’t have to have the same role, I just feel comfort in knowing I’m not on bad conditions with anyone.

My biggest weakness is I forgive, kind of easily… I mean I definiteley do not forget, which kinda is unhealthy at some points when I find myself holding a grudge over something that happened 4 years ago, but I can’t help it. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I’m a straight forward person with pure intentions and I expect nothing less. I just don’t understand why my situations are the toughest.

I’m sorry to myself for putting myself through unnecessary pain and misery. I overthink every single thing in my life and It has only made my life harder. I try so hard to think positively and calmly I get even more anxious and I think so deep it just isn’t healthy. I don’t know how to help myself. I feel like I got to the point I can’t even vent to other people. Well, it’s been like this for a year now but I guess this is what I deserve.